MORE DEPARTURE CHAOS
What would a NOWAT adventure be without just a little Departure CHAOS??? Hell, it’s right in tune with the past 3 days. It just doesn't involve shoes… yet.
After the call from Alitalia, we spent the afternoon, OK… Dragon Lady spent the afternoon playing with the kids, feeding the crowd and altogether relishing having all 3 of her boys… ok 5 counting the babies, all to herself for awhile. Chucky took care of last minute business, penned the last NOWAT and after calling Alitalia for one last status report, around 6PM rallied the troops for the dreaded trip to MIA
As reported in the Last Transmission from Casa d’ Chaos, the boys were doing Rock, Paper, Scissors for the honor [don’t smirk René] of delivering us to MIA. Enter Chucky:
“Ok… its 6:30, we need to head out, Alitalia says to be 3 hours early, it will be brutal due to the delay, I figure 2hours by the time you guys quit arguing, so who lost?”
“Brian,” snickered Greg, “He aint ready - but he’s going.”
“What car?”
“The van, “instructs the Dragon Lady. [Brian had previously declared that all the bags wouldn’t fit in his little car]
“I'll get the bags,” I mumble as I grab the 2 rollers, the computer bag, Illy’s carry on, the camera bag, 2 neck pillows, 2 jackets, 2 books, an iPad and a partridge in a pear tree… OK, no bird or tree, but that’s why they call it LUGGAGE!
“Papa you can’t go… I will be sad” cries David, rolling over on the bed and hiding his head… just ripping my heart out.
“Mia Bambino… Papa Loves you, don’t be sad… Papa will bring you something from Italy.”
“PRESENTS!!!… For me Papa? Oh YEA PAPA… I'll be happy for you,” screams my little materialist in training.
Charlie on the other hand could care less about Papa leaving, as long as he can be permanently attached to Abuela - who is already having apoplectic withdrawals at the thought of no babies for 2 weeks.
As I wrangle the LUGGAGE and head for the van, David demands to help but backs off after trying to lift a 40 pound bag. [I do pack tightly] Just after I wrestle two bags into the side door, one into the rear and the carry-ons in the baby seats, she starts to mount our carriage when Brian rambles out and announces:
“We’re taking My car!”
SAY WHAT???
“What the hell was all that Rock, Paper, Scissors about, and why did you let me load the van before changing THE Plan? You told me it all wont fit in you car. My recollection is that it was the van all along, now what?”
“I didn’t know you were loading the van but I aint driving that thing to Miami, I'll make it fit in my car,” as he unloads 2 golf bags, a gym bag, a bag of dirty cloths, numerous empty water bottles and a partridge in a…. OK again…. no bird. But lots of stuff!
Mumbling selective curses under my breath [David is right there] I drag theLUGGAGE outta the van and LUG them to his now miraculously SPACIOUS trunk, throw the rest in the back seat and prepare for the painful drive to MIA looking for Grandma who is nowhere to be found… Oh there she is… trying to extricate herself from Charlie and David who now have death grips on each leg. After hugs and kisses, and more hugs and kisses and prying a now unhappy Charlie from her leg, we load a grumbling Henry and the babies into Greg’s car and they head off to Greg’s house to wait for news of Henry’s missing car.
I'll spare you the running dialogue of Chucky trying to direct the most expedient route to MIA, finally giving up and settling in for the ride with a hacking and wheezing Brian.
Somehow, we find MIA, right where it has always been; run the gauntlet of ill mannered Miami drivers and arrive at Alitalia unscathed.
HEY LOOK…. No crowds… Fancy that!!!
We roll the LUGGAGE up to the ticket counter, and after apologizing for the delayed flight, due to lightning damaged navigational gear forcing the original flight back to Roma for a plane change, the delightful Alitalia Agent is so charmed with Chucky trying his fuzzy Italian she books them better seats on the Roma to Venezia flight, wishes them Buono Viaggio, Buono Vacazione, Bouno Anniversario and Buono ….
God smiled on the Dragon Lady [and a little past experience didn’t hurt] as she left the bangles etc in the LUGGAGE and breezed through security without setting off all the bells and alarms this time. Chucky on the other hand, after striping everything into the bins and getting naked [Ok… just bare foot and hatless] strolls through the gate and all hell breaks loose!
‘Step back sir and try again… is everything out of your pockets?’
“Ooopppssss” blushes Chucky forgot the money clip.” [Ok do you really think he was blushing?]
“Put it through the machine sir.”
So he throws it in a bowl and into the machine hoping the scanner doesn’t catch the small nail file and knife in the money clip which does double duty replacing a mini-Swiss Army key chain clippers/knife/nail file confiscated long ago in a trip to North Carolina. It was 1½ inches long, for Cryin’ out loud….
Now safely through the gate, he rushes to help Dragon Chick wrangle all the stuff off the scanner belt when the TSA scanner dude comes up with a scowl on his face and the money clip in the bowl.
“Money Clip?” He asks.
Uh-Oh, Chucky thinks, Busted!!
But no… he just hands the bowl to Chucky, annoyed that he had to get off his stool to deliver it.
Whew…. Close call.
A quick bite at the Corona Grill and Bar [We really shoulda known better] adds a load of unwanted grease to our digestive tracks… just what we need on a 9 hour flight… and after a quick charge of her iPhone, we’re ready for boarding… of course, Alitalia is not.
Ok, it was just a short wait, and we were quickly loaded into the trans-Atlantic flying cigar tube [an aging 767-300 – no seatback TV & mixed up light controls!!!] and waited as we taxied 15 minutes to the far western end of the runway for our eastward launch across the pond to Bella Italia.
Hey, the day coulda been much worse, but it wasn’t and
WE’RE OFF TO TOSCANA!!!
Now where’s that flight attendant with the red wine…
Did I mention, I just LOVE flying Alitalia...
Ciao 4 Now,
Uncle Chuck & the missing the babies already
Dragon Lady
Soooo ready for Fine Wine, Sharp Cheese and Great Crusty Bread.
